Let's see where to start this entry? Well last night the baby had cheer and sperm boy was going to pick her up from my house. Well after practice, the baby wanted to get a happy meal and go to her nana's house. So I called sperm boy and told him and he said fine and to call me once I dropped her off. So I'm fuming because he didn't ask to speak to his daughter, who he hasn't seen in I don't know how long. So we go to her Nan's house and I hang out there and then go home. When I get home, S is there. He asks me what I'm making for dinner. I tell him we can order something because #1 I don't feel like cooking and #2 I don't feel like going out. He says he wants real food. So I sit there and play tetris on my phone. I then tell him to make himself something and he whines he makes himself something everynight when I'm not home. Oh well, not my problem was pretty much my response. I was hungry as well but I am fed up of being his "mommy". I am not there to cook and clean and do his fucking laundry. On wed. I am off and I like to relax...ok so back to the subject. He finally gets off the couch and makes a bowl of cereal. He then is muttering under his breath. and I went upstairs and changed and laid down and watched some TV. So I go downstairs and I ask him if I can watch the 2nd half of my movie I had DVRed. It was on Lifetime, called Human trafficking. I really liked it. But it also disturbed me. I never want to leave my daughter out of my sight, EVER. Especially overseas.
Anyways so he says fine and goes upstairs and I watch my movie. So finally I go to bed and we cuddle for like a minute then he turns over and he falls asleep and starts snoring. I can not sleep when someone is snoring. And lately all he does is snore! It's so fucking annoying.
So I finally go to sleep, like 2 am and I wake up this morning with bloodshot eyes. I'm so fucking tired. So I go in the bathroom and S is in the shower. So I get in and as soon as I get in he starts talking about fucking me in the shower. Well here is the problem with that. I'm 5 foot and he's over 6 feet. Really hard to do and very uncomfortable. So we try and my head is hanging all down so I start to get dizzy so I stand up and move and of course, it falls outs. So we try again. And again. Well it doesn't feel good. I don't like shower sex. The water is not a nice lubricant. I enjoy making out and other things in the shower, but not sex. So we get out of the shower and he bends me over the toilet and trys again. It was just off and then I get in the shower and there is no more hot water. So I took a cold shower. First off, its freezing in the house because we haven't turned the heat on. and 2nd it's freezing outside. So I'm all mad. So this morning was awful. I think the new meds I am taking are making me not want to have sex or I'm just not in the mood to have sex with S anymore. I use to be a horndog before I took these meds and I use to get wet. Now I can't and sex is not fun. When I go to the Dr. tomorrow I will tell him this. I can't not have fun sex, it's not me. I am a Scorpio! I need it like an addict. I am a sex addict. Now I feel like sex is not important at all and I don't want to even do it anymore. I hate this shit. But I also need the meds becuase I haven't had an issue since I started taking it. Damn it!
Anyways that was my morning. I need to get off this and get to work on finishing my newsletter and start running it off.