IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ SOMETHING RACY, PLEASE CLOSE MY DIARY NOW.

I am so horny. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Maybe the new meds have made me hornier than I was before. I hope now. I can just think of something hot and I get wet. yeah I'm sick. i think I need psychological help. Maybe I need to go to a sex counselor. I need my man right now. I just want to feel him inside of me. I guess I'm longing for him because we haven't done it in a while. Damnit!
I think I'm going to go to a sex shop after I drop the baby off at her nana's and get a toy to use. I had one but I lost it somewhere. It was a small little vibrator that was good for using in the car. But I think I left it in my ex's glove compartment. And I definitly don't want it back. Lord knows how many nasty skanks he's had in there.

How do you get your man to go donw on you? I mean my ex use to do it and I wouldn't have to ask. He would just do it all the time. But S won't do it at all. he's done it once for like a second. I really like it and I want it, but I don't know how to bring it up to S. Any suggestions?
Also I had this really weird sex dream last night. S and I went to a strip club for my bday, because I wanted to go. Well this hot brunette girl was walking down the counter collecting her money and she came up to us. We were sitting at the end of the bar. I was wearing this short black skirt, with black knee high boots and a black lace shirt, where you could see my cleavage. She leaned down and kissed me and asked me if I wanted a dance. Since it was my bday and I was drunk, I said yeah. So S and I follow this sexy girl upstiars and S sits next to me and the stripper climbs on top of me. She does her dance. All the time she's dancing she is feeling me up. And S is sitting there watching us kissing and touching eachother. So then she gets on her knees and starts touching me, down there. I'm getting really horny and all wet. So then she starts going down on me. S is now touching me. So she stops and we are kissing. So then S and I say we have a room and she says ok and comes back with us. So she and I are making out on the bed and S is sitting there watching because he thinks it's hot. So then she starts going down on me and I start sucking Steven off. Then I start going down on her while S is doing me. So then S starts doing the stripper and she goes down on me again. I woke up from this dream so freaking weirded out. It was hot but it was also weird. Why am I fantasizing about a girl going down on me and S doing another girl in front of me and I'm fine with it?
Lord help me. i'm going to hell!