Ok folks this is going to be long and complicated so grab some coffee and settle in to listen to why my Turkey Day and the rest of the weekend sucked the phat one...

Wednesday night I was watching TV and I got naseous and I started vomitting every hour till 6am on Thursday. It was so gross and I was just vomitting stomach bile and I thought I was going to die. So my plans on flying into NC and see my dysfunctional family were called off. There was no way I could get on a plane with a five year old and be vomitting. So the baby stayed with her Nana all weekend. I layed on the couch, drank Gatorade and watched TV and slept. S went and got a turkey dinner package from giant and he ate that and I watched him because Turkey Day is my favorite holiday. So I was on the Gatorade diet. The only positive thing to going to the Dr. on Friday was I lost 11 pounds in the past 2 months. That was a boost. The down side was since I couldn't keep any food or fluid down, I had to use a suppository to make me not naseous. Sticking something in my ass was so uncomforatble.
While at the Dr. they gave me a urine pregnancy test and the 2nd line came up a faint positive. So they did a blood test...still awaiting the results on that. Doubt I am preggers, but the blood test will prove it. Also my leukocytes in my urine were higher than normal so the Dr. stated their is an infection in my body that my immune system can't fight off. So more blood was drawn. I hate getting my blood drawn. I also had an internal exam and a rectal exam. I was violated. While he was doing both uncomforatble things he notices in my chart that my ER contact was S and my Dr. treated his father before he passed away. So he is talking about S's dad with his fingers in my vagina. how uncomftable!

So I went home and of course one of S's work friends is over so I can't discuss what the Dr told me about possible being preggers. So I wait till his friend finally leaves and I sit him down and tell him. he then proceeds to tell me "his shit doesn't swim" and gave me the reason he smokes too much and lifts heavy boxes. he then gives me these stipulations if I am preggers:
1. A DNA test will be done. He states that even if we were married that he would want one done. he states there are too many people in this world paying for kids that aren't his. He then retracted that last comment because of my baby. He said he didn't mean her in that comment.
2. He doesn't want to be part of the pregnancy if he is not sure of the paternity results. I went off on that. i told him that I am not carrying around a baby for 9 months without any support and I would terminate the pregnancy. I would never do that because I do not beleive in abortion because I am adopted. I do beleive in it only if a female is raped or if there are complications that will not be able to save the child. I don't judge people that have abortions, I just will never do it.
3. He doesn't want to have children till he's at least 30 or so. Like his father. I don't want to be 30 or so when I have my next child. He said he is too young to start a family..he will be 25 in April. I also don't want my baby to miss out on having a sibling and that experience of having someone to be close to. I beleive that all children should have a sibling to learn and grow with and help eachother out.
4. He said if I am preggers, it better be a boy. I said we can't pick the sex of the baby. it's not like I can tell my OB, I want a boy. I don't want a boy, I want a girl anyways.

So we got into it about the fact that he needs to grow up and stop messing with my emotions and leading me down a path of bullshit.
We then went and saw Ice Harvest that night. it sucked and don't see it. there was nothing funny about it at all. It was boring. But S picked it and he said he wasn't happy about the movie as well. We went home and I fell asleep because I wasn't feeling that great, but I wanted to get out of the house for a little while.

So Saturday i lounge around and talk to my friend in Richmond about his issues with his baby's mother and how she dipped on him with the kid and went down to FL. And then he drops the bomb that the kid isn't his. I then give him my advice and we talk for about 2-3 hours. S is of course with his boys. Which was another part of the fight that is to come.
My girlfriend then calls me and says that she wants to go to this club in DC. I feel better so I decide to go. The whole time I am getting dressed, S is standing there making comments on how I bitch at him when he goes out and here I am going out. First off asshole, I rarely go out. So I just tell him to fuck off and leave. the club was fun. i hit on the hottie bartender. We flirted a bit and that was it. I only drank cranberry juice due to the fact I don't know if I am preggers. I danced with some fat guy that reminded me of Fat Albert. no other preppy girls were and he was actually a good dancer. All people should have a good time. My girlfriend can't dance at all and she is one of these people that just make rude comments and judge people. We are really not close, but I was bored and wanted to go out so I went with her. I danced with a couple of other guys and this one guy was pretty much humping me on the dance floor. it got really crowded and I got tired so we bounced. I got home around 1:30. S was at the local bar. he got home close to 2am and was wasted as hell.
while riding the metro down to DC he kept calling me and bitching and accusing me of wanting to fuck the dudes at the club and I am scandoulous and that's the only reason females go clubbing. I go to clubs to dance and have fun. If I didn't think I was preggers, I enjoy drinking as well. heavily drinking! He also texted me we were done. So i called him and asked him if that was a threat or a promise and he said we will discuss it when I get home.

This is where it gets rough. I get home and he isn't there so i call him and he's wasted and I tell him I think he has had enough and needs to come home. So he comes home and stumbling around and slurring his words and starts bitching about one of the girls I work with(at my 2nd job) sister hit on him and when he turned her down she was cussing him out and screaming at him. That girl is a whore and when she drinks she is a mega whore. I know her. I don't like her at all.
So then I ask him if it's over because he said we would discuss it. he kept telling me he wasn't going to talk to me and to let him see my phone. I refuse because it's not his business who is in my phone and who I talk to. There wasn't anything I wanted to hide but still, I'm tired of his accusations. So he starts saying I probably have all these dudes numbers and I'm a slut and I'm cheating on him. And I'm a little bitch and to fuck off. So I loose it and slap the shit out of him. I walk away because I didn't know if he was going to slap me back. he never has laid a hand on me, but sometimes when people are drunk, they do dumb things.
So he starts screaming, in my face, and saying I trapped him and that I am a bitch because I was planning on killing his kid and I'm a whore because I trapped 2 other guys into having kids with me. none of this is true. I am crying and he is screaming me and holding my arms. I keep telling him to back the fuck off and crying and I am scared as hell. My childhood, I grew up with an abusinve mother, so when someone is in my face and holdin my arms, I freak out. he then throws his lighter against the wall and it richocets and hits me in the eye. i'm crying and he says I am lying and sits on top of me a grabs my arms and is screaming at me that I'm a liar and I've fucked with his head and I have made his life miserable with my constant nagging and bitching about him spending time with his boys.
I explain to him through my tears that he needs to grow the fuck up and his mommy babied him. Well that comment made him fly off the handle. he says that I know nothing about him and that he wants me to pack all my shit and leave in the morning. I then ask him why he can't do anything for himself and he states that any girl he is with will do his laundry. I tell him we are not living in iran (where his father is from) and I refuse to be treated like his little bitch. he then proceeds to tell me I am a bitch and will always be someone's bitch and I'm crazy and a liar.
So he backs me into a corner in the kitchen and is my face just screaming and kept saying that he's not going to be walked on like the other bitches I have been with. So something in my head snapped and I started throwing shot glasses at him. I have no idea why. I never throw shit when I am mad, but my temper and anxiety took over. So needless to say, all the places I have been have been ruined and broken.
I can never say anything about my neighbors next door anymore because I am sure everyone heard him screaming at me. I was hoping someone would call the police, but I guess no one in the neighborhood cares enough to. If I was a neighbor and I had heard how loud and bad it was, I would call the police right away.
So he states he's done talking to me and kept yelling at me when I tried to talk to him. he kept stating he's tired of hearing me and that I am wrong and stupid and a bitch and to fuck off. So i go upstairs and go into the baby's room and cry. i started to have an anxiety attack so I got some clothes on and grabbed my keys and left and took a drive to calm down. S was passed on the couch. I didn't go to sleep till 5am.
So sunday I hear him leaving the house. i call him and ask him why he can't even say goodbye and he says I was sleeping and he didn't want to bother me. he sounded like he was embarassed and ashamed. he went to his boys house to watch football. he said that he wanted to give me time to relax without him there. So I layed around and couldn't stop crying thinking of all the hateful shit he said to me that I never thought he would ever do or say. I was so scared. I moved all my stuff into the baby's room and took a shower.
He came home and I was downstairs and he greeted me and couldn't even look at me. I went upstairs and he came upstairs and sat down on the bed next to me and I asked what he wanted and he said he was so sorry for all the mean and hurtful things he had said and he couldn't beleive he had said them. he also said he wasn't going to dirnk anymore because he never thought he could hurt someone he loved like he hurt me. I said I'm glad he realized he was a complete asshole and I said I needed some time and space to get over the hurting. I told him I wanted to be alone. he kept saying he was sorry and I asked him to leave. I had to go to work so I went downstairs and ate some applesauce since I had no appetite from the prior nights event and left for work. He kept coming near me and Ikept telling him to give me space and leave me alone.
So i worked and made about $30. i got home at 10:30 and had to park like half a mile away from my house. I hate living in a townhouse without reserved parking.
So I went in the house and went and took a shower. S followed me around like a lost dog. He kept trying to get me to give hima hug and forgive him. i was strong and went to bed without saying good night. he came in and told me to come sleep with him because he couldn't sleep and I said no and I asked him to leave. So I locked the door and had a nice sleep till 6am. he knocked on the door and he said he wanted me to lay down with him because he hadn't slept and he missed me and needed me. So since my daughter's bed is so hard I relented and layed down with him. And he played with my hair and rubbed my back and said he was sorry over and over again and he never meant to hurt me and he's a piece of shit and an asshole. And then he was kissing my neck and back, which are hot spots so I got up and said I had to shower and of course he jumped in with me and tried to assault me. I was stubborn and resisted even though I was horny as hell. He even tried to give me head in the shower. I almost let him do it, but stopped him because I started thinking of all the hateful things that came out of his mouth.
So I left for work and he called me and said they didn't need him and he was going home and going to go xmas shopping and I told him to trade my ring in and upgrade it to something bigger. We will see.

So that was my drama for the 4 day weekend I had. I am still hurting from saturday night and can't get over it. I plan on not sleeping with him for awhile and letting things cool off and then start fresh. I just have to take some time and rethink the whole situation with S and think if he's the right person for me. I love him to death and I still do, but I'm hurt. And once someone hurts me really bad it's hard to get over it.

Enough of my sob story. I got a text from the hottie Brian and he said he missed me and wanted to see me. I might take him up on that offer and meet him and have dinner and talk. Nothing more because I don't want to cheat on S even though I am mad and hurt.
This upcoming weekend I am going to get my tree and the baby and I are going to decorate it and then watch and xmas movie. it's a new tradition for me and her and it will be special.

Gotta go and eat some lunch. Hope everyone had a better turkey day.