I think I need a vacation. or as I like to call it "A Vakay". Yes I do have some Legally Blonde in me.

I need to get away for a few days, turn my cell on vibrate, not off because I don't want to be away and have something happen to the baby while I'm gone and no one be able to reach me. I never turn the thing off due to being paranoid the minute I turn it off something will happen to my little angel.

I don't know where I want to go but I know I want to be away from Maryland and go somewhere no one knows me and will never know me. Maybe an island that is safe. Or maybe a state I have never been to. I would like to go to Mexico or something. I've been to Mexico but I was a teen and my parents were there.
I have this itch and it needs to be scratched. I don't even want S to come with me but I think it would be best so I don't have to have him calling me and nagging me to find out what I am doing every 5 minutes. And I don't want his accusations of me cheating on him or some gay shit like that. But on this trip we will not spend 24 hours together. I did that yesterday and almost ripped my hair out. Not a moment of quiet time or alone time to be with my thoughts.

I definitly want to go some place that has horseback riding. Not tours, just plain old horse back riding without a huge group and involves some trotting and going in water. I just want peace.

I love my daughter with all my heart but I want this trip to be an adult trip. I don't want to have to worry about making sure she is having fun, making sure she is eating, making her go to bed and arguing with her. I will go on a short summer trip with her and no one else, or maybe my girlfriend carrie and my niece catie. That would be nice.

I want to sit lazily on a beach, get some sun and read a book. I would give nothing more to have some down time and time to think about things.

But this is a fantasy and will never happen because I'm broke and don't have a suga daddy to pay for me.