Where do I start? It's been so long since I have been on here. Well that's dramatic, it's only been a week.

I can't remember anything last week other than almost dying so I'll skip it and come to this weekend. This weekend was the worst weekend of my life.

Well Sperm Boy dropped the bomb that he was moving to be with his girl as of Monday. This was Friday night at 11pm. So I ask him questions and it seems he has not thought this through at all. I know Sperm Boy and unless he's pushed he won't do anything. So apparently this vixen has pushed him to move across the country, away from his family and his baby girl. Well fuck them both. I hate him and I hate her for ripping my little angel's heart out.

So Saturday I am pissed and I am trying to stay calm so I don't explode in front of the baby. She seemed to know something was up, but her Nana and Papa didn't want her to know that he was moving, they thought it would be best not to tell her. Well I thought about it and I decided that it would be worse if we didn't tell her, so I told her. She didn't understand why her father was moving VERY far away and not going to be here for Easter. I tell her it's not her fault and that her daddy loves her (BULLSHIT) and he will be back to visit. She seemed satisfied with that answer and when S came home, she forgot all about sperm boy. They played and then Sperm Boy called and said he was going to his mom's house and I told him to pick up the baby from me and he refused. He said he wanted to talk to his mom before we got there. So I tell the baby this and she said, and I quote this from my 5 year old, "I'm sure he's not really coming. he lies alot and each time he says he's coming, he doesn't. he's a liar and I don't want to see him". And she proceeds to run upstairs into her room, balling so loud I can hear her downstairs. So I go to go up there and S stops me and he goes. I'm not sure what he said becuase he was talking to her quietly and I could hear her starting to laugh and then she came down and said she was ready to go over there and so we went. I got there and Sperm Boy didn't even hug her or anything. I played with her and his mom kept telling the baby "why don't you go with your daddy and pick up the food and spend some alone time together with him since he won't be around for awhile". I thought to myself, the asshole isn't going to war, he's moving on his own and he's an asshole. So I left becuase the baby was refusing to go with him since I was there, PLAYING with her and he just sat there.

I went home and S was out, so I worked on my paper. I kept having to stop to wipe away tears. It's like I feel her pain for her. So I took a shower and painted my nails. It's my type of relaxation method. S came home and we didn't speak. Some reason he's been an asshole to me lately, but I'm too worried about my kid to figure out his deal and I could care a less about it.

Sunday I went over to the Nana's house to say by to the baby before she goes to FL for the week. I made her breakfast and she colored a picture and wrote her name, her full name, really well. I'm so proud of her. And then I left and drove up to Frederick to spend the day shopping for scrap boook stuff with this girl I use to hang with Renee. So we had a nice time doing that and the Nana called and said they were at the airport but the flight was 6 hours delayed and hadn't left FL. So she cancelled their trip because there was NO FLIGHT out this whole week. So we are going to celebrate Easter this week and she is trying to get a flight for this weekend till Monday. I don't care about going to church for Easter so this is no biggie. I don't do church and I don't think it matters to the baby since her selfish father left her anyways and no holiday will be the same. This is also according to my 5 year oldm but she didnt say the selfish father, just that the holidays will not be the same. Poor kid.

So I got home and re-arranged my scrap book stuff and I told S that he needed to quite treating me like shit or I was going to leave his ass and he came up to me and grabbed me and picked me up and kissed me like we haven't kissed since we were trying not to have people sit with us on the flight home from Vegas. It was really nice and he said he was sorry and he felt he was being ignored while I was at work and we talked it out and ordered chinese since we have no food in the house and then we went and saw Benchwarmers. It was funny. Cute and nice moral and also funny. Then we went home, had wild carnal sex and I passed out.

I had a horrible nightmare last night and I thought it was real so I woke up at 3:30am and I couldn't go back to sleep. So I'm pretty tired this morning and I had asked Sperm Boy if he was going to stop by and say bye to me since he didn't say shit at his moms and he said he was planning on it but won't be able to, so I said fine and hung up on him. I hope she makes him happy and they both burn in hell. I really could give a fuck less at this point. I had gotten a card for him and I ripped it up and threw it away. Fuck him for ruining my little angel's life by being a selfish person and fuck him for making my life a living hell and fuck him for leaving!

Happy monday