Hey everyone! I'm back from my little break. In which I needed because I felt an anxiety attack coming on.

First off, I have to say my condolences are with my best friends family. She lost her grandmother on new years eve.

New Years Eve is not something I want to talk about. Let's say that S and I did not spend it together and I spent New Years Eve balling and mad as hell and at midnight didn't have anyone to kiss. I did watch Carlito's Way 2 and drank some vodka and didn't go to sleep till after 4am only to be woken up at 8:30 by S saying to undo the chain on the door. I was going to go to this hotel party hosted by a sometimes-friend of mine but decided I didn't feel up to it and I would get really drunk and have to stay, which I didn't want to do. So new years day I spent the whole day with my little babygirl and didn't speak to S at all. He was bothering me all day and I kept my mouth shut. I went to work without speaking to him that night. Made a few dollars and went home, showered and went to sleep, AlONE. I locked S out of our room and he slept on the couch. And monday I spent it running errands with the baby and we had a nice lunch together and I went to work that night.
Oh yeah, GO SKINS AND WE ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS BEOTCHES!!!!

Yesterday I took off because I had pink eye and S was home. We had made up after a LONG discussion about his new years eve behavior and his actions. I said my peace and we moved on. We spent the morning watching all the judges shows and I made breakfast. And then we went and saw The Ringer. Not as funny as I thought it would be. On the way to the movies my Jeep was failing to start a few times and the check engine light turned on. So I called carmax and got no where with them and called the warranty department. I got gas last night when I went to get my eye drops and this morning the light is off and is fine. I went to the Dr. How is it that I spent $43 in 2 hours? My copay, my two meds, and gas. I hate spending money when I don't have it.
S made dinner last night and it was good and we had ince cream. I needed comfort food. And then I worked on my myspace account because I realized after searching that my ex "navy seal" boyfriend is on there so I want to make my page be awesome and then contact him. But S kept coming upstairs and annoying me. I wanted a day of rest and all I got yesterday was S annoying me and a headache. So then we watched Saw. Not a fan. Sick and demented movie. And I think last night I had nightmares all night and woke up sweating and S telling me to calm down that I was ok and safe. I do have a reoccuring nightmare of a really hard thing that happened to me when I was in my teens. So I had a sleepless night.

So I'm back at work today with pink eye still and a horrible stomach ache. I don't have to work tonight which is nice. I'm off till Sunday with my 2nd job.

I found out from the baby's Papa (Tony Soprano) that Sperm Boy needed $3500 due to he is getting rid of our dogs. And he is thinking of selling the house and moving in with his cop friend for awhile and possibly moving to Seattle. Sperm Boy hasn't told me anything about any of this. He did tell me he passed his tests for the CIA job he applied for and he has an interview in VA. So I don't know. I would like to say bye to my dog. But since Tony Soprano told me this, I have to keep it to myself till Sperm Boy tells me himself. He apparently got the $500 from Tony S. and the rest from his grandfather. We will see what happens. I hope he moves away and gets his life together so he can be a father. Still hasn't given the baby any xmas presents. he called when I had her and she said she was busy and she would call him back. She never did and he didn't call back.

I guess that's all. I have to send out these thank you notes from the baby to family members. She signed her name the best she could with x's and o's. She's adorable. I'm glad I have her.

Happy hump day!