I haven't updated lately because I have been on vacay and then I just didn't feel like it. I really still don't feel like it becuase my father shattered my life by telling me last week he is leaving my mother after 30 years of marriage and my mother is now devastated, heartbroken and has become sick. So guess who the person she calls and is crying over the phone to? You guessed it, her oldest child. And we have had a shitty relationship till now and I just feel bad for her. But I also realized, after her telling me thngs that my dad did to her when we were not around, she must of been hard on me becuase she couldn't stand up to my dad. Makes sense. So for the past 15 years I've been blaming my mother instead of the evil "father". Interesting. I should be a counselor. My mom says everytime she gets off the phone with me she feels better.

Vacay was good. The baby had a nice time at BG. I will post pictures. She rode the Big Bad Wolf roller coaster 10 times and LOVED it. But they don't take your picture when you ride it so I bought her a hat that says I survived my first roller coaster. It's cute and the guy who sold it to me was young so I flashed my smile and leaned over the counter and he sold it to me for $5, even though it was $15 and there was no sale. He he. And we did water country but the thunderstorm came and we only rode 2 rides and they closed. The baby did go in the wave pool and I was freaking out the whole time. I don't like the water anymore for some reason and I get very nervous when she's in it. But S was holding her and she had a life vest on the whole time. But we had a nice time and S came back from vegas and he came bringing gifts! I know it was amazing. He bought me two shot glasses (which I collect) and a vegas shirt. it's black. My favorite color. And he was great with the baby on our vacay and they were jumping back and forth across the hotel beds. So cute. But he rode all the rides with her that I couldn't ride with no issue and they got along. And Fri he took her to blockbuster and watched her while I did homework.

But all I have been thinking about is my mother and how she is doing since she's in NC and I'm in MD. And school is going awful since I can't concentrate on my studies. Oh well.
But that's really it for now.

I behaved while S was out of town and just had one of my guy friends over sat. night and we watched this movie called Waiting and we talked about life. Nothing happened because I don't like him like that, but I was scared being home alone with just the baby so he came over. And he left when I was about to fall asleep at 4am. The baby stayed with me the whole weekend becuase she didn't want me to be lonely. it was so sweet.

Today is the last day of school for the kids. I know they are glad. I used to love when summer came when I was in school. The baby leaves for San Diego next week with the Nana and she will have a great time. I will miss her. She's been spending more and more time with us and it's harder for me to let her stay with the Nana while I'm in school and working.

Happy Wednesday. Get some ass.