Ok so I haven't written in a long time, I don't remember the last time I actually wrote. Anyways I've been doing some soul searching and thinking these past few days and realized somethings about myself that I would like to share. mostly I just want to get shit off my chest so it's not really sharing, it's more like bitching and bitching. =)

S is a great guy. He is funny and adorable and his family is a good family. his mother is a gem and his brothers are nice enough. But he's not my Mr. Right. I know people would say there is no Mr. Right, but I think there is something close to it and I don't think it's S. He's great with my kid unless she pisses him off then he just is an ass. never physical because I'd kill him but sometimes I think he wants her to act more like she's 15 not 5. He never thinks that maybe his gf would like to have a nice night out with just him. The thought never crosses his mind.
He invited me out monday night to go and get drunk with his work buddies, but here's the catch: I drive. Ok I am not a person who gets behind the wheel after drinking becuase #1 I am responsible and don't want to leave my 5 year old without a mother and #2 I have had a very dear friend die from this when we were younger and it wasn't even him drinking, it was another person in another car that killed him. I don't want to be responsible for killing someone.
So I decline because I would rather us go to dinner or the movies and be just us. Not that I don't like his boys from work, but they are always loud and annoying. So why would I want to be the sober one in that group? So he goes anyways and doesn't get home till like 1:30 am. Whatever.
Another thing is he is the laziest person I have ever met. He didn't know how to do laundry till he was 23. I learned that shit when I was like 12. And he just leaves things everywhere, like socks, his uniforms, towels, trash, shoes and the list goes on. it's very annoying. He does nothing around the house and I'm busy with working full time, classes and my kid. And I have told him this numerous times but it seems I'm wasting my breath. I'm not anal about clean, but it's annoying falling over shit all the time.
And sex with him has become mundane and boring. it's like he either wants me to give him head and let him have his fun or we have sex, that sometimes I fake (I know it's evil and I really try not to but I'm bored) and then we have some intense sex. But it's like all he wants from me is sex, to be his maid and his cook. it's like I'm a slave and he just sits on the couch watching HIS shows. Like tonight guaranteed when I get home from working all day (and he was off all day) his first words will be what's for dinner? And I'll say I don't know and ignore him. becuase I'm fed up.

Ok enough about S, moving on becuase now I'm getting pissed and it's almost time for me to leave work. I also hate comcast. They suck and are the worst cable and internet providers in the universe. I plan on writing a letter to the BBB about them tomorrow. I would like to blow their building up but that is illegal and something a terrorist would do and I'm Puerto Rican, not sadam's daughter.

OK I will have to continue this at a later date..I have to leave and go pick up the kid and then hang with her and then go home...